Monday, March 21, 2016

Ramblings on Motherhood

Well it's been over a month since I've written a blog post and a lot has happened in a month. I had my son via emergency c-section and we moved to our house. Becoming a mother has been truly amazing and honestly I'm not a gifted enough writer to truly express what it's like to become a parent. It's by far one of the most challenging roles I've assumed in my life but it's also by far the most rewarding as well. It's life changing in so many ways. More than a month has passed since Hunter was born and I'm slowly getting used to our new routine. It involves a lot less sleep, less spare time, less leaving the house, less cooking, less cleaning, less eating, and more sitting and watching tv while a baby breast feeds or naps on me. Every mama's pregnancy and post-partum experiences are different and for me its be somewhat of a natural transition. I have done my best to take things slowly and be patient with this new phase of our life, and so far I'm comfortable in my new role.

The other day my sister asked me what is my favorite part of being a mother, and I had to admit that I can't pin point one thing that I love. It's all of it. I just love being a mother. I look at him and my heart feels so full. Even in the middle of the night when he's being fussy and just won't sleep I feel lucky to have him in my life. I'm just so proud of him and so grateful to be his mama. It's really hard to describe all the feelings I get just holding him in my arms.

It is undeniable that being a mother is life changing. For me it's meant a lot less free time. My husband went back to work after two weeks of paternity leave so I take care of Hunter during the day.  It leaves little time for anything else. I typically stay in sweat pants, a shirt that's easy to breast feed in, and a nursing bra. I've worn make-up maybe three times since he was born and I've probably done my hair even fewer times than that. My whole day revolves around taking care of my son. I've read several articles that suggest that after giving birth women should make a point to get dressed/do their make-up/ do their hair ect. To me this just depends on the person, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything not getting dressed (most of my clothes still don't fit anyway). I've made it a point to avoid reading those types of articles about what mothers should do/feel/expect post partum. As with pregnancy, everyone's experience is different so I've just been doing what comes naturally to me, and putting pressure on myself to get dressed and do my make-up is not a priority. I have been making a point to stay on top of housework as much as possible. I've always been one of those people that needs a clean home to feel relaxed so keeping up with my chores has been more therapeutic then getting dressed would be. To each their own!

Another thing I've focused on during this post partum period is decorating our home. Since we moved from an apartment to a home recently we've been taking our time and being much more intentional with how we're putting together our home, both inside and out. It's been fun for me to assemble our home slowly and in a way that feels very us. I'm enjoying this process and am actually enjoying it being a slow process despite wanting to have a finished product. The slower process is necessary for me to be able to take care of Hunter, but it also allows me (for the first time) to be much more thoughtful in my decorating process.

Aside from those two things my daily life is breast feeding, changing diapers, changing onesies, and eating/ using the bathroom/ showering/ sleeping whenever a tiny person isn't yelling at me. We're holding off on taking Hunter out and about until he's had his first round of vaccinations so I've left the house only a few times for a very short period of time. I don't mind any of this in the slightest. It's been nice not going out much since I'm a homebody, and I've gone on a few walks in our neighborhood and taken a trip to a nearby park with Hunter in tow to get fresh air when I've felt a little stir crazy (which isn't as frequently as I had expected to be).
The most difficult thing has probably been not being able to cook like I used to. We've made more frozen pizzas than I care to admit, and ordered delivery a bit more than normal too. It's not ideal but it's been helpful on nights where I haven't been able to cook a quick meal and my husband (who works in the evening) didn't feel like getting off work and then immediately cooking dinner instead of getting to spend time with Hunter. I had hoped to stock our freezer with easy and healthy meals in the last weeks of pregnancy but with us moving and me being induced earlier than I had anticipated it ended up not working out that way. It's ended up being fine but next pregnancy I'll definitely make stocking up on frozen meals more of a priority.

I've probably done enough rambling for one post, but I could go on and on about what life has been like these past couple of weeks but I'll save the rest of the details of that for another day.
I'm still not sure about how frequent I'll be posting from here on out, but I'll make the effort to check in every once in a while at the very least.

Hope you've all been well & thanks for sticking around!

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